dear curious friends:

I understand that you're a bit confused. It is kind of weird that we're running away and getting married alone. Most people want their friends and family near them and supporting them on one of the most important days of their life. I get that. I see how what we're doing might seem a little odd to you.

We live in Seattle. All of our friends and family, save a couple of each of our relatives in the Carolinas, are in Seattle. We've never even been to Louisiana nor do we know a soul there. Why on earth did we choose Louisiana? It's the first question out of everyone's mouth as soon as we say, "No, no one's family lives there".

For me, there are plenty of reasons for us to decide to do it this way. Some are financial, some are emotional, some are practical, and some are maybe just selfish, I suppose.

As someone close to us was kind enough to point out- maybe I want to do it this way because I "don't have a dad to pay for the wedding". Well, how intuitive of you! (and maybe a little tactless...) Yes, it's traditional for a bride's father to foot the bill for her wedding. Yes, I imagine that if I were to call my father after over 10 years of silence he might object a little to writing me a check. But no, that's not the only reason that I don't want to have a big shindig. Plenty of couples pay for their own day, and if it was important enough to me to want all that, I would have been saving and found a way to fund it on my own, despite my lack of paternal support.

One major objection that Mr. Lulu and I have to a big traditional wedding is all the excess. Tons of paper waste, tons of stuff to buy that will only be used one day for a little while, and just generally a lot of stuff that we don't need to consume in order to be happily married. I think that the whole wedding industry feeds on everyone's need to have just the right things in order to have a perfect wedding day, and I just don't want to get sucked into all that. And I would. Believe me, given the chance, I would. By limiting our guest list and minimizing our event, we automatically cut down on the impact that our wedding will have. For us, that's something important.

Of course we also have the all-too-common issue that is a by-product of being kids of dysfunctional families. We both have divorced parents and our fair share of general familial strife. Having a traditional wedding typically means having the whole batch of them participating in a multi-day affair and cooperating to pull off the execution of said affair with limited stress and tears. Personally, I'd just rather not.

Our wedding day is about us, and about us being comfortable and happy and embarking on a new life together that is meaningful and exciting. It's not about us trying to make sure that everyone else is comfortable and happy and worrying about who's going to sit next to who and if we invite this person will someone else feel weird and oh my god what if mom loses it and who's going to walk me down the aisle and what about the father-daughter dance and who should we have be our best man/maid of honor and everything else. It stresses me out just thinking about it and we're not even having to make any of those decisions! Maybe for us eloping is a little bit like avoidance, but that's fine with me. Some of these things are worth avoiding, in my humble opinion.

And then, of course, there's the fact that the perfect wedding deserves an awesome honeymoon! Mr. Lulu and I are still kind of in the "getting started" phase of our lives and careers and excess cash just isn't something we have a ton of. By combining our wedding and honeymoon into what the trendy wedding websites dub the "weddingmoon" we're saving ourselves a bundle and getting an amazing experience too. Plus, Louisiana is somewhere that I've always wanted to visit. I'm not really sure where it comes from, I guess I just have a fascination with the culture and everything about the South. I have a really romantic vision of what the lower half of our country is all about, and have thought that I belonged in Savannah, Georgia ever since I read Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil. It seems to me that the food and the music and the general environment in New Orleans will make our time there one to treasure forever. And isn't that what our wedding should be? Just a really great time and a lot of wonderful memories? Sign me up.

As a completely unexpected bonus, planning our wedding this way has been delightfully easy. I started out with a wedding checklist I found on The Knot and quickly discovered that only about a quarter of their recommendations for planning even applied to us. Once we settled on a location and booked our rooms, everything else on our short to-do list was quick and easy to take care of. Because I think I have ultimately grown into a fairly self-aware person, I understand that perfection and control are very important to me. If I had to host a full-on wedding for all of my closest friends and family members instead of the little cocktail party reception we're choosing, I know I would lose my mind in the details. I'm the bridezilla who would be on her hands and knees combing the carpet into place and obsessing over every detail of all the outfits and the food and every other little thing that I could find to obsess about until I made myself and my husband-to-be crazy. Instead, I get to spend a beautiful Tuesday morning hanging out with the man I love letting a photographer follow us around the grounds of a historic plantation and, oh yeah- squeeze in ten minutes to actually do the ceremony. No fanfare, no crazy relatives- just an intimate moment when we can declare our devotion and promise to love each other forever followed by a lazy afternoon basking in the glow of our own genius. It seems like it will be really easy and great, and it will be. Right? Can't see why not.

Looking forward to our adventure!

love,
lulu

dear rob & lean:

Oh my gosh, thank you! Mr. Lulu's ring is beautiful and it fits perfectly.

We had a difficult time finding a ring for him that we really loved. Everything out there in the big jewelry stores was either too boring or too jewel-encrusted or just not quite right in some other way. The simple lines of this band combined with the exotic wood inlay made it seem just perfect for us. Mr. Lulu wanted something unique and something kind of organic, and we love that it came from real people and not a nameless production line somewhere out of the country. That's probably our favorite part.

In fact, when I ripped open the envelope I found the cute little pouch with the ring, a business card, and a yellow post-it note. I squealed when I saw the post-it. "See- this is what Etsy is all about. Real people! Hand-written notes!" I think Mr. Lulu would have been more confused by the excitement that little yellow paper had caused me if he wouldn't have been so busy drooling over his new ring.

Added bonus: the engraving on the inside. I'm a loving and understanding wifey and I want to make sure that Mr. Lulu never has an chance to forget our anniversary. I had the ring engraved "NOLA ♥ 08.05.08". You're welcome.

Thank you so much Rob & Leighanne, we're thrilled!

love,
lulu

dear green lake jewelry works:

Hello you wonderfully talented artisans! Oh my lord, you guys are amazing. I know you technically didn't make my ring since it's a family heirloom that has been in Mr. Lulu's family for generations, but you made it mine. And I love that we were able to take some diamonds from my mom's ring (which were in her mom's ring) and add them in. It makes it such a lovely representation of the blending of families and histories that are part of what make a marriage so special.

I don't even care that the first time you called me to tell me that my ring was ready, we drove out there and found that it really wasn't. An extra day didn't kill me, and it was totally worth the wait. My ring is beautiful and it carries so much history along with it- I know that I'm really fortunate.

I have always liked the idea of an antique ring, I love thinking that the ring on my finger made another woman feel cherished and special too. I always assumed that these women would be strangers and I would never know their stories, but luckily that's not the case! Mr. Lulu's paternal great-grandmother was the first to wear my ring, then his grandmother, then his mother, now me. I'm a part of a strong family history now, which means a lot to me since my own sometimes seems a bit muddled and lost.

Here it is again- isn't it gorgeous?!?



love,
lulu

dear mr. lulu:

Hi sweets! Wow, I still can't believe you really want to marry me! Are you sure you don't need to spend some more time with my mom before you fully commit to that?

I can't wait for our adventure in Louisiana this summer. We're going to have the best time exploring and going to jazz clubs and eating all kinds of good food. There's going to be muffaletta, and shrimp, and gumbo, and maybe even alligator. And hurricanes (hopefully just the drinks, not the natural disaster), and sazerac, and did I mention the food? My mouth is watering just thinking about it!

Oak Alley is beautiful, and I'm so excited to spend our wedding day there! I've always suspected that I have a misunderstood Southern belle hiding inside this tough Northern exterior, so I expect that this will be just like coming home.

Anyway, love, I'm really glad that we've decided to elope. Planning a big fancy wedding would make me crazy for sure, and I think this is much more romantic anyway.

Looking forward to a long and happy life with you!

love,
lulu

dear world:

Hello all! I'm excited to announce that Mr. Lulu and I have decided to take the plunge! We've been having the marriage talk off and on for awhile, and I guess all my whining and constant pleading finally wore him down, because he asked for the family ring yesterday (IN THE MIDDLE OF EASTER DINNER). He's not really one for subtlety, so I guess I shouldn't have been surprised. His mom, on the other hand, did appear to be a bit shocked, and she looked like she might cry when we told her that we didn't want anyone at the wedding.

See, one of the things that has been a sticking point in the whole marriage negotiation is that the mere thought of gathering all of our family members into one room for an extended period of time and expecting us to enjoy ourselves sounds like an impossible task. We started warming to the idea of eloping a few months ago, and there was even talk at one point of flying to New Zealand to do the deed.

Sadly, logic butted in and reminded us that we probably can't afford to leave the state, much less the country, any time soon. Until, that is, Mr. Lulu realized that he had enough Alaska Airline frequent flyer miles to get us somewhere after all and offered me a vacation. Like the little devil that I can be, I turned my vacation into a wedding/honeymoon, and our plans were born.

Louisiana here we come!

love,
lulu